True grit, disappointment, when you seem to be always hitting a brick wall…

Chris Gardner was dealt a ‘life card’ of a childhood marred by a violent stepfather constantly pounding into his head that he is nothing but scum and being black, only knowing what he knows about life from the neighbourhood he lives in… how does he turn his life around?

While the rendition of Chris Gardner’s story in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness is only a small depiction of the final chapters in the book, the theme of survival, resilience, family and charity no doubt resonated with movie viewers and readers alike. (For the benefit of those who had only watched the movie, I’ve placed comments about the book version in italics.)

The movie is about how it is like to be homeless, but most of all about a relationship between a father and son.

Being homeless while maintaining a job and a son meant having to carry all the worldly possessions with him everywhere each day while staying professionally groomed and attired, depositing his son early in the childcare centre and getting to work early, leaving work in time to pick up his son so they can be early enough to get a free bed at the homeless shelter – otherwise it’s a night under the desk at the office or the toilet cubicle at the train station.

At the homeless shelter where they received meals at the soup kitchen and a warm bed for the night, everyone no matter what race and background came together:

“…you were in line with men, women, blacks, white, Latinos, Chinese, like the United nations, many at different stages of some kind of issue: drugs, alcohol, violence, poverty, or borderline crazy…” / “..I see only dignity – no matter how fragile – in all the faces lined up with me..”

The movie shows him spending a lot of time with his son, walking around town from one place to another, spending time at the park because they don’t have money to do anything else, having dinner with his son at a cheap diner. Whenever things went exceptionally bad, the jokes his son made brought things back into perspective. Amidst life’s mess and unfortunate circumstances, Chris Gardner was determined that the son was cared for and that his son would know who his father is.

His resolution came about from what he had experienced with his stepfather and the experiences he never had with his absent father.

The turning point in the movie was when he saw a red Ferrari pulling up in a parking spot and he asked the driver the secret to his success, and he vowed that he will be one day be successful as him.

Despite all the negativity faced in life, he had pulled himself out of it by reflecting on what his mother instilled in him about the importance of reading and knowledge, about ‘acting as if’ and that one day he can make his own millions of dollars if he wants to. All the trials, were in actual fact, for the building up of character and the person who he is meant to be.

‘Pursuit of Happyness’ is about a man rising above all odds, and that all men are deserving, as according to the Declaration of Independence: ‘that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’.

* Links

Chris Gardner in Townhall interview
‘I wouldn’t be here if I had a bailout’

* Some things are best not written but reflected, so here are points to ponder…

- Rev. Cecil Williams’ Glide Memorial’s soup kitchen and homeless shelter helped many people and gave Chris Gardner a step up in life. Have you been in a situation when if without the help or kindness of a stranger, your life might have turned out differently?

- Chris had no home and noone else to turn to but himself. He had to think of where his son would sleep every night. How do you think Chris felt?How does it feel to be homeless and having no roof over your head?

- In the book, Chris was faced challenges constantly being the only black man in his firm. He had to bear racial jokes from his client, a Texan oil magnate whenever he called before his client would hear him out, though he eventually managed to handle it creatively. How would you deal with this situation?

- Chris Gardner had employers who were also mentors to him. Have you ever mentored an employee(s)? What have you got out of it? How can you improve?

- Chris Gardner’s stepfather was a negative influence to him. His second wife was also always at him, asking him how would he know to be a good father if he never really had one? How do you deal with negative criticisms, whether qualified or unqualified?

- He had to leave his son at a shady daycare centre everyday. His son lost his toy, his key possession. Chris Gardner’s sole focus was his son. He wanted to give his best and everything in the world to him. How do you think Chris feels when he has no money and cannot afford to do so?

- Chris’ son and mother were key motivations in his life. What drives you?

- His stepfather picked on him because he felt insecure being illiterate while Chris could read. Have you similarly transposed your insecurities to other? If so, what were they? How did it affect the other person and your relationship with him/her?

- Although he did not receive an education, Chris applied for the role of internship at Dean Witter and manoeuvered the job interview creatively to get the job. Describe a time when you grabbed a huge opportunity against all odds.

- How does it feel to know that you are this close to making it but life with its weird sense of humour is throwing you curveballs? How did you feel? Did you feel angry, frustrated, or hopeful? Describe your experience. How did you deal with it?

- Noone knew Chris was homeless. Have you come across a situation with your colleagues/friends in which you offered help without being invasive?

- Despite the negativity, Chris had role models in Miles Davis, Muhammad Ali and Nelson Mandela and a support system when he was growing up in his uncles and mother. Who do you have as your role models/support system? How have they helped you in your life / career path?

- The red Ferarri was the image of success to Chris. What is your image of success? 

- Describe how it would  feel like to be successful beyond your dreams?

- The Glide Memorial shelter is a symbol of hope for many homeless people. Do you engage in social work? How does your work impact others and the community?

- Chris went into two marriages with different expectations from his wifes’. What are your expectations of marriage life?

- Chris had noone to turn to but the Glide Memorial homeless shelter, Reverend Cecil William’s sermons and his son’s faith in him. Who do you turn to when you feel alone?